I moved to Seattle in 2005 from Ohio and Detroit before then. These were all big moves. My life had taken a sudden turn. I discovered that I had skills that were being sought out in the job market. My career had taken off. I didn’t have a lot of faith in myself at the time. I had a lot of fear. This was my biggest fear: they would find out I was not as good as my resume.
One day on my way home from work, I walked into a bookstore downtown. I saw the book “Learn how to anything in 10 days or less.” It struck me that this book might help me. After all I had traveled across the country to take a job I had never done before. A job that required me to give presentations and to train executives and middle managers. My brain had no problem reminding me of the fact that I hated to speak in front of people and that the classes where I had to present in college were the only ones that I really hated.
One of the gifts I received from this book was the start of a daily practice of writing a mantra. The book instructed me, among other things, to write a mantra every morning 20 – 25 times. My mantra was “God has given me everything I need to do my job for this day.” I filled up page after page with this mantra every morning before work. I did that for weeks. Then the day came that I was to give my first presentation. I prayed hard that I would not screw it up. In fact, that was my prayer every night, Lord please don’t let me screw this up. I was very nervous but I got through it.
Sometimes I get stuck reaching, grasping for that next thing. I know that the beauty is in the letting go, the surrender. But I am hardwired to keep grasping onto something that should have been let go a long time ago. I can’t reach new heights if I am hanging on to that last rung of the ladder. Move your foot up to the next one, use the momentum to keep going. See where this new ladder takes you. Let go, climb, and let God.
God has given you everything you need to do your job for this day. You have your daily bread. Isn’t that the prayer, Give us this day our daily bread? He always gives me what I need. It’s only when I stop getting what I want that I turn inward. I’m always reminded of the movie “The Ten Commandments.” The scene with Moses parting the Red Sea. I turn sad and I wonder why is the Red Sea no longer parting for me? No Red Sea but I am always able to cross all streams and rivers.
That’s what I usually don’t see until later. Pharaoh’s army is no longer after me. The big calamities are no longer happening. They did, just like the movie version, drown in the Red Sea. All of my huge problems, the ones that kept me screwed up, were taken care of when God parted my sea of pain. All gone by faith.
Now I realize everything else are just stream crossings. This I can do on my own. God has given me everything I need to do my job for this day. My job being not just work, but my job in life and service. What a mantra! What a truism that has been proven by my experience over and over again. My streams are sometimes calm and without obstacles. There may not even be a need to balance. But every once in a while, the water rises or gets choppy. There may be strong currents or slippery rocks in my way. Here I use my higher power as balance, choosing my steps wisely, as he helps me and guides me to the shore. Once there I sit and reflect on how he got me over.
I have to stop thinking that I’m not being helped just because there is no Red Sea being parted. Life is about following the path and for the last 23 years I’ve only had streams and rivers to cross. The Red Sea was long ago parted and my demons were all drowned. It’s up to me to keep on the path and to not worry about what I am not getting but to keep on being grateful that I am continuously given my daily bread.